Tea Party Poems

Posted on November 2, 2011


Tea Party politicians are in the wrong line of work.

These are selected poetic works by Sarah Palin and D.H. Rumsfeld, courtesy of Hart Seely from Slate Magazine.

Sarah Palin

Blue Dog Peekaboo

Blue-dog Democrats
Peeking under the tent.
You know …

@@@@and finding out, 

And Holy Geez! I’m scared!

Prayer Before Debating Joe Biden


I said, “Piper, ‘kay,
I’m going out onstage.
I’m debatin’ this guy,
it’s going to be kind
of tough,” I said. “SO PRAY!”


I said, “Piper, just pray
that I win, ’cause you know,
why not, just pray that
I do well—and, oh!,

Man, try and keep it
easy,” I said. “JUST PRAY!”

Governor Jan Brewer Had It To Do, Too

To help protect the citizens
Of her state she had to do
What the federal government
Has refused to do!

And that is help secure the borders;
I think it’s shameful, too,
That the Obama administration
Has allowed, too, this, too!

D.H. Rumsfeld

You’re going to be told lots of things.
You get told things every day that don’t happen.

It doesn’t seem to bother people, they don’t—
It’s printed in the press.
The world thinks all these things happen.
They never happened.

Everyone’s so eager to get the story
Before in fact the story’s there
That the world is constantly being fed
Things that haven’t happened.

All I can tell you is,
It hasn’t happened.
It’s going to happen.

— Feb. 28, 2003, Department of Defense briefing

The Unknown

As we know,
There are known knowns.
There are things we know we know.
We also know
There are known unknowns.
That is to say
We know there are some things
We do not know.
But there are also unknown unknowns,
The ones we don’t know
We don’t know.

 Feb. 12, 2002, Department of Defense news briefing

The Situation

Things will not be necessarily continuous.
The fact that they are something other than perfectly continuous
Ought not to be characterized as a pause.
There will be some things that people will see.
There will be some things that people won’t see.
And life goes on.

 Oct. 12, 2001, Department of Defense news briefing

Posted in: Politics